One evening, at a social media post-worthy restaurant in NYC, my best friend and I sat across from each other. We, of course, were dressed in New York acceptable outfits. As our waitress walked away with the order, I urgently asked my best friend, “Do you feel surrounded by evil in the city?” When her face immediately expressed amusement, I could tell her answer before she said anything. Confused as to why I decided to be morbid at our cute dinner, she answered me with a nervous laugh, “What do you mean?” I answered, “Well my mom told me about a book the other day and I wish she wouldn’t have.” I continued, “She said the book was a true story about this woman who had been struck by lightning. After being struck, she immediately went into cardiac arrest and almost died. While her body lay there carbonized, she experienced the other world and her judgment.”

As people were walking past us and our waitress approached, I lowered my voice. “Even though this woman thought she was a decent person, she was on her way to hell. My mom said, in the book, demons are all over the earth…. like everywhere. The lady said God presented all her sins to her and she was surrounded by putrid-smelling demons. Then when God came, all the demons left and only her demon stayed. The one demon that stayed was the one assigned to her. She had her own assigned demon and so do we!”

At this point, my friend looks completely annoyed with me as I continue, “But then my mom said that God salvaged her life so she could spread this news to as many people as she possibly could.” I finish with, “What made me so upset is my mom told me this story and then finished off by saying those who know this information will be judged harder during their judgment day.” My friend said, “Oh I wouldn’t worry about that, I think there is a lot more good in this world than evil.” I opened my mouth to speak again but thought I should just drop it and change the subject so we could enjoy our dinner. But the rest of the night, I kept thinking I don’t know if I agree with that.

…

The testimony I was talking about at dinner is called Struck by Lightning: Death, judgment, and conversion by Gloria Polo. Briefly hearing about this book, changed my life forever.

I grew up catholic and went to a catholic grade school, middle school, and high school. I went to mass almost every weekend with my family. I felt close with God as a child and young teenager. I did not pray every day but would often have meaningful conversations with God. I thought of Him during tough times and would pray for help.

As I grew up, like most, I became exposed to the world and quickly became consumed with worldly things. When I entered high school, I started noticing social rankings, outings, and extracurricular activities. I noticed material things and the pleasures that came with having them. My strong connection with God did not last, and my conscience weakened.

After graduating high school, I moved to a different state and attended a university that was top-ranked for fashion design in the US. I became consumed with my classes, friends, fashion, and boys. I stopped going to mass by myself after I attended church one time and didn’t like the priest. I thought that was a good enough reason to completely delete the religion part of my life, now that I was grown and away from my home.

After graduating college, I decided to move to New York City with three of my fashion school girlfriends. We all got an apartment together and started working in the fashion industry. In New York, I was introduced to a different level of life. The style, the stores, the people, the meals, the clubs, the bars, and men. Everything seemed to be better. I was fully invested in this world and it was starting to become everything I wanted.

Two years later, I was working a fast-paced job in the industry, while simultaneously starting my fashion brand with my best friend and roommate at the time. After countless dates and flings I had dealt with in college and the city, I finally was in a somewhat stable situationship with a boy I thought I loved and would eventually marry. I looked better and felt better than I ever had before.

One night, out of the blue, the relationship I was in was over. Soon after the friend I had, no longer wanted anything to do with me. Just like that, the future I had made for myself was gone. The world was no longer treasures and adventures. The world showed me what it truly was. This was the first time I have ever felt alone, I mean truly alone. I was surrounded by so many people. I was hopeless for my future without these two people I had invested so much in. I didn’t know how to continue. I didn’t want to continue. I wondered what the point of my life was.

One night, I called my mom and started begging her for some sort of fix to my problems. My mother, who had gone through her fall and conversion a few years prior, said her faith was the only thing that got her through the rough time. She said this brokenness is a call from God to holiness. She told me “It is a wakeup call- when you realize He is all you have, you soon realize He is all you need.” That weekend, I decided to go to church for the first time in years.

…

As I walked the streets of New York City, I noticed all the evil, the pain, and hurt the worldly things created. People turned against one another because of greed, lust, jealousy, and hatred. I started listening to the deep desire to know the Truth, the desire to love and be loved by God. The desire to know Him was so strong. I wanted to know a never-ending love.

I gave my two weeks notice for my job and moved back home to further the search for all these yearnings. As I write this, almost one year later, I can say confidently, by the grace of God, that although there continues to be struggle in my life, there is now a meaning and a beautiful purpose behind it. 

 

Citations:

Ortiz, Polo Gloria. Struck by Lightning: Death, Judgement and Conversion. Michael, 2012.

Original image of Cupid and Psyche statue in featured image:

Theodor Friedl. Cupid and Psyche. 1181-82. Belvedere, Vienna.